Ahh, the Internet. A great technological advance. Now, information is more readily available, businesses can easily sell their crap basically anywhere, we can all work from our kitchen tables instead of an office, guys no longer have to feel gross walking into a porn store if they want some adult videos…
I mean, it’s safe to say it benefits us all.
I never found my (nonexistent) husband on the interweb. I never made nearly $1 million off showing people how I do my makeup while drunk (fuck you, Jenna Marbles! Even though I love you.) But some other cool shit happened. And I’d like to tell you about it.
A portrait that’s just super
Let me hit you with this.
Yep, that’s me. And I’m levitating…NO BIG DEAL.
Also, observe the other guy in there. Yeah. That’s my dog, Sedona.
Um, bad ass? I think so.
This is all because of Twitter. This Philadelphia comic artist, Matt K. M., followed me on Twitter. I clicked through his few tweets, which consist solely of comics he’s drawn. And I thought they were HILARIOUS. So I followed him back and let him know that I appreciated his work.
Matt seems to be a pretty nice fellow, as he hit me back with this awesome comic.
Oh yeah, and he does cartoons for his fans…while encouraging them to pretend they drew it so they can get laid. Thanks, Matt. I’ll see if I can try to impress any fine gents with this piece of work.
Impressive gigs
In college, I did an intensive semester-long political writing internship. Capital News Service not only kicked my ass, but made me constantly feel inadequate, given the fact that I had a Pulitzer Prize winning-journalist breathing down my neck and having me correct my article at least three times.
Most stressful time of my life, literally.
But I later learned that it made me.
I got a mysterious email that said “Detroit News freelance opportunity.” I thought it was some stupid thing from the J-School coaxing me into applying for something I’d never get.
NOPE.
I opened the email and it was — to my surprise — not an email written for the masses. It was, in fact, addressed solely to me.
When I spoke to editor Kevin J. Hardy on the phone, he told me that he’d looked through the Capital News Service site and thought my articles were the best on the site.
Um, WIN.
This was the payoff for killing myself during the internship.
The gig was essentially to ensure there were no shenanigans during the Michigan State University vs. University of Michigan football game. Although I had to miss a sweet trip to Ann Arbor, I got paid to watch the game, sit at a bar sipping some refreshing water (I actually LOVE going to bars by myself. I especially loved doing so in college. Hah, I made lots of friends that way.) and get a byline in the Detroit News.
We (meaning Michigan State) won the game. There obviously was no riot because most students were in Ann Arbor. In addition, happy people don’t usually set couches on fire. (Or do they?)
My article isn’t still up online, but here’s a picture of the link I posted on October 9, 2010.
Besides my DetNews gig, I also got an interview at Philly.com. Unfortunately, the position was eliminated. Still, BOSS nonetheless.
Ben Franklin snail mail
If you’re my friend, you know how obsessed with Ben Franklin I am.
Also how obsessed with Jenna Marbles I am.
But there is one other YouTuber (not that Ben Franklin is among the ranks, but his mention is relevant. I promise.), who I also obsess with.
Meet Flula.
Um, hilarious, right?
Well one fine day, I was canoodling on Facebook, when I saw something from Flula pop up into my news feed. It was an announcement that he was on some live feed. And since I LOVE him, I decided to tune in.
He had a really organized show where he had people type in some things he should make a song about (Flula is actually a German DJ who lives in LA).
Next, he pulled out some sweet post cards and had people suggest things for him to draw on them. If you were one of the lucky people who suggested something the man himself drew, you could email him your address. Then he’d post you a letter.
UM GUESS WHO SUGGESTED BEN FRANKLIN.
Flula actually said after he drew this that it was his worst drawing ever.
But hell, I’m happy I got a sweet ass post card from a hilarious German. Post cards are always exciting. And it’s especially cool because Ben Franklin created Philadelphia’s first postal system. (Nerd alert).
My next hope is to win $1 million off some sort of random Internet drawing. And have it actually not be spam.
It could happen?
I’ve greatly benefited from the Internet thus far, I expect more great things to come.






My favorite thing about the internet is that it mobilizes funny people. Like this blog-post, totally made me chuckle, making my work day that much happier
Love your writing boofriend, and glad we have the internet to keep us together <3
Yay, love you toooo! Thanks for the complement, T-Po. I’m actually happy I can learn about Taiwan from YOU. Otherwise I’d probably never decide to honestly.